


An epic fail!

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Epic Fail, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 10:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17744192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Steve, Natasha and Sam's attempts to interrogate Jasper Sitwell end up being an epic fail. Crack fic.





	An epic fail!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America, Deadpool or anything else you may recognize
> 
> Just a funny idea I got when I read a comment on YouTube by 'Joshua Runt.' If you're reading this, thanks.

"Tell me about Zola's algorithm", Steve commanded as him and Natasha marched towards Sitwell who put back his glasses and backed in terror.

"Never heard of it."

He was a good liar but Steve and Natasha were not going to be fooled.

"What were you doing on the Lemurian star?" Steve asked.

"I was throwing up. I get seasick", Sitwell said and at the same time, realize he had been cornered right on the edge of the roof.

Steve grabbed him by the collar and glared at him.

With a smirk, Sitwell asked, "Is this little display meant to insinuate that you're going to throw me off the roof? Because it's really not your style, Rogers."

With a matching smirk, Steve let Sitwell go and backed, "You're right. It's not. It's hers."

Before Sitwell could even process what Steve had said, he stepped aside and Natasha kicked him hard on the chest. He was sent falling down the building as he screamed in terror.

That was the moment Natasha chose to discuss Steve's non-existent dating life.

"Wait. What about that girl from Accounting, Laura…."

"Lillian", Steve corrected her, "Lip piercing, right?"

"Yeah, she's cute", Natasha commented.

"Yeah", Steve agreed, "I'm not ready for that."

That moment, Sam flew up in his recently stolen Falcon suit- empty handed!

He landed next to the two, an awkward expression on his face.

"Where's Sitwell?" Steve asked him.

Trying to sound casual, Sam ended up sounding really awkward as he explained, "Oh, you know, wind current is so unpredictable man... Basically...I didn't catch him. His body is splattered on a taxi."

Below, the taxi driver was like- "People these days have no manners. They ruined my taxi by throwing someone on it."

"Don't worry, Dopinder", his customer, who was none other than Deadpool assured him as he got out of the cab.

Cupping the sides of his face with his hands, he yelled, "HEY CHRIS AND SCARLETT! STOP SPLATTERING BODIES OF FBI AGENTS FROM THE COLD WAR ERA ON POOR DOPINDER'S TAXI!"

"Uh oh", Steve muttered before saying, "We are really sorry about that."

"It better not happen next time, or I will go for Bucky's head", Wade said, which confused Steve.

"You know what?" Wade said, "Never mind. I will just side with Tony in Civil War, even though I don't agree with him."

Looking up, he said to Steve, "Don't pay any attention to me. I'm just gonna have a little conversation with Josh Brolin to clear up any confusion."

With that, he sat back in the taxi and Dopinder drove him off, Sitwell's body still on it.

"Damn it!" Natasha said in frustration at their bad luck, "All right, let's go find another one."

**Author's Note:**

> Done. Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Please review. I always appreciate your feedback.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Aragorn II Elessar.


End file.
